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“Is this your baby?” June 19, 2011

Posted by Judy in Musings.

I’ll just get right to the point . . . . .that is just a weird question. I get that there are babysitters and nannys that go out in public with their charges, as well as grandparents, aunts, etc. But still, it’s a weird question. It falls into the “Does it matter?” category. (Right up there with “Was the pregnancy planned?” But that’s a rant for another day!) It’s even weirder to me because inevitably, I am wearing my youngest in a baby carrier. Now, I know a decent amount of babywearers, both in real life and online. I can count on one hand the number of people that regularly go out and about both wearing someone else’s baby and having several children of their own in tow. So yes, it’s just a strange question. Wondering what brought on this little rant? Read on.

The other day, I was at Meijer’s with the three babes doing some shopping. DS2 was in a carrier while DD and DS1 were walking. We were stopped at a taste test station when a woman came over and made some comment about the baby carrier. She was a mumbler, so I didn’t quite get if she was saying she knew how to use wraps when she had babies or is she wished she would have known how. Anyway, I just smiled and nodded, and then she asks:

“Is this your baby?” Weird.
“Aww, he’s so sweet!”

We continued to chat and then I guess she noticed my walkers, and she asks:

“Are they all yours?” Yet another question that falls into the “weird” and “does it matter?” category.

First of all, if you’ve ever met me and my children, you know that we all pretty much look alike. People are always asking if the older two are twins, and the boys look shockingly similar. So, to have someone ask if they are all mine, well, they just aren’t paying attention!

Second of all, why does it even matter? The implication is that “Oh my goodness, I can’t believe you have so many children. How could you?” I only have three children, which is not really many (although based on the reactions of most people, they think that three is many.) When I see moms with many children (many is 4 or more, with more emphasis on the more), I don’t wonder whether or not they all belong to her. Now, if they all seem to be the same age, I might wonder, but I certainly wouldn’t ask . . . it’s really none of my business . . . because it really doesn’t matter who the children belong to.

I’m such a smart alec, my inner monologue is always running wild. It’s probably good that I don’t actually let my inner monologue become part of the conversation. But, when I get asked these questions, I REALLY want to say:

“Nope, I just drove through the neighborhood with my loud speaker saying ‘Hey! Any kids wanna come with me to the grocery store?'”


“You know, they just keep following me around . . I have NO IDEA who they are! It’s kinda weird, actually.”


“Oh, no, they aren’t all mine, just the cute ones.”

And really, I could go on.

Maybe I’m the only mom on the planet that finds these questions weird and somewhat intrusive. In any case, I”m sure people will continue to ask me the questions, and I’ll continue to have an inner monologue with my smart alec self!


1. Perla - June 19, 2011

people are always asking silly questions. We need to ignore their comments.

2. Lara - June 20, 2011

I definitely think you need to answer with those responses sometime just to see what happens!!!! Then say, “Here’s Your Sign!”

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