Silence

Many quotes exist on silence:

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Silence is golden.

So it always is: when you escape to a desert the silence shouts in your ear. (Graham Greene, The Quiet America)

If silence is good for the wise, how much better is it for the foolish! (Ivan Panin, Thoughts)

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt. (Abraham Lincoln)

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I have reached the point in my journey through Cancer Land where silence on my part is the norm. Gone are the days of constant doctor’s appointments, difficult decision-making, and test after test after test. This is the point where not a whole lot is happening, just the rhythm of chemo:

• chemo infusion
• feel good for two days
• feel gross for 4-5 days
• feel pretty good but very tired for the next two weeks
• lather, rinse, repeat

During this time, there’s really not much to share. Nothing, at least, that wouldn’t simply be redundant.

So, there is silence.

This is also the point of the journey where people start fading away. All of the love and support blows away in the wind. This is not a criticism, it’s merely a commentary on human nature. It’s very easy to assume that all is well when you don’t hear anything to the contrary. It’s easy to think, “Wow! That person much be doing great! They look great, they manage to still get to work/school, etc. This must be going really well for them.” It’s easy to forget that this part of the journey is the longest, lasting four to six months. At times, it can feel like being lost in a desert, not knowing whether you’ll find an oasis or more desert over the next hill.

This is the time when the sojourners through Cancer Land need to know that this is not a solitary journey. Knowing that we haven’t been forgotten is like finding a little oasis along the way. Although I really am doing okay, it’s still a very long road, and that is exhausting.

So please, don’t let there be silence.

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Silence about a thing just magnifies it. (Tennessee Williams, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof)

In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. (Martin Luther King Jr.)